he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
