dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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