Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
