Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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