you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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