That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
