Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
