he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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