weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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