ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
