Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
