You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize