shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
