Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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