I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
