How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
