K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
