I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize