he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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