How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
