I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
