well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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