and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
