Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
where are you?
Hypothermia
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
