So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
