I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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