I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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