VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
