I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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