I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
