I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
