I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
two words...techno handjob
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
