yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
