If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
