So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
So much Jack, so little girl.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
