So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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