its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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