i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
