he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
