I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
