There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
