I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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