I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I currently don't understand fingers.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
