He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
