My first STD was from a foam party
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
God, I missed his penis.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
