i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
