I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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