Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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