We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
