is your mom at the bar?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
