Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
