let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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