plz talk dirty to me
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
