she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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