You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
