its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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