***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
