What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
smell my finger.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
