Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize