Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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