i don't like sucking hair
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize