Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
